Here are responses to questions under the topic HOUSEKEEPING, which was taken by Gbubemi Nnaji -
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| Housekeeping |
ANSWERS
Q1
Let’s take for instance, a woman always has so much to do in the house –we all know how it goes, coupled with the fact that she would “kill” herself one day if she continues to do it alone, that’s why you will agree that she needs some help from other household members, as you also mentioned. But what if her kids are still very young and the man is the type who does not lift a pin in the house? Considering that she still has to take care of her kids, her husband, her personal career and all other things, here are my questions: (a) How does she cope with it all? (b) Can she ever get the man to assist her, to do anything in the house? If yes, how can she go about it? If no, what is the way out? (c) What’s your take on employing house helps, especially with the recent stories of kidnapping, evils house helps do in the homes and all, do you think it’s really wise to employ the service of house helps in this age?
A. With the grace of God, you can do all things. None can possibly finish all that there is to do. Just plan a to-do list, arranging the most important task first. Don't panic or feel guilty if all that's on your list is not done.
B. Yes, if you help him do stuffs he needs to do once in a while like if he's usually the one ironing his clothes, help him once in a while, washing his car, giving him a good meal, taking him out for dinner, giving him good bed work (if you know what I mean), and stuffs like that.. Men could be big babies at times. Just be patient with them. If you don't see result don't quit easily after all, he's your husband. Prayers and patience has never failed also.
C. Now, I've never been a fan of house helps and I will never be. I don't support it at all. I may be hard on this issue but it's what I STRONGLY believe in. To me, it's like saying 'God this responsibility You've given me, I don't like it. So I'm giving part of it to someone else'. If you ask me I would say my children are too precious to me to leave with someone else (even if it's my younger sister /brother) each day while I go out to work. How much is the money you want to earn that is worth more than your children's life. I don't know o! But while I was growing I had this idea of working from home because I wanted to be there to kiss my hubby and children bye as they go to work and school each day and be there to kiss them welcome when they come back. I want to be there when they need me most after all, that's what families are for. A house help can't take your place. Yeah you may say 'she has trust issues' I'll say who trust a stranger completely?
Q2 My question is on the issue of family members, in-laws, friends or guests coming to visit, should they also be involved in house chores or the woman has to do it all, as it is held in some cultures? If yes, how can one get them involved?
Of course, they should do house chores. Just simply smile and say 'can you please help with... Thank you' and if they don't help out, they can as well leave the house after all, it's your house. If the husband is not around, the next in command in the home is the wife and this should be made clear by hubby to his people and wife to her people. Where there's no rule, things get messed up.
Q3
Please, I’ll like to confirm something here, is it only in my house and a few families that the man is always either watching the tv set, reading a newspaper, magazine, on the computer, chatting, on calls or doing some other funny things whenever the woman is busy with domestics? Please, is it the same all over; I mean, is it a common trait in men generally or is it only peculiar
