POST-HEALTH WEEK (QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS) 2

Here are responses to questions under the topic HOUSEKEEPING, which was taken by Gbubemi Nnaji -

Housekeeping

ANSWERS
Q1
Let’s take for instance, a woman always has so much to do in the house –we all know how it goes, coupled with the fact that she would “kill” herself one day if she continues to do it alone, that’s why you will agree that she needs some help from other household members, as you also mentioned. But what if her kids are still very young and the man is the type who does not lift a pin in the house? Considering that she still has to take care of her kids, her husband, her personal career and all other things, here are my questions: (a) How does she cope with it all? (b) Can she ever get the man to assist her, to do anything in the house? If yes, how can she go about it? If no, what is the way out? (c) What’s your take on employing house helps, especially with the recent stories of kidnapping, evils house helps do in the homes and all, do you think it’s really wise to employ the service of house helps in this age?

A. With the grace of God, you can do all things. None can possibly finish all that there is to do. Just plan a to-do list, arranging the most important task first. Don't panic or feel guilty if all that's on your list is not done.
B. Yes, if you help him do stuffs he needs to do once in a while like if he's usually the one ironing his clothes, help him once in a while, washing his car, giving him a good meal, taking him out for dinner, giving him good bed work (if you know what I mean), and stuffs like that.. Men could be big babies at times. Just be patient with them. If you don't see result don't quit easily after all, he's your husband. Prayers and patience has never failed also.
C. Now, I've never been a fan of house helps and I will never be. I don't support it at all. I may be hard on this issue but it's what I STRONGLY believe in. To me, it's like saying 'God this responsibility You've given me, I don't like it. So I'm giving part of it to someone else'. If you ask me I would say my children are too precious to me to leave with someone else (even if it's my younger sister /brother) each day while I go out to work. How much is the money you want to earn that is worth more than your children's life. I don't know o! But while I was growing I had this idea of working from home because I wanted to be there to kiss my hubby and children bye as they go to work and school each day and be there to kiss them welcome when they come back. I want to be there when they need me most after all, that's what families are for. A house help can't take your place. Yeah you may say 'she has trust issues' I'll say who trust a stranger completely?

Q2 My question is on the issue of family members, in-laws, friends or guests coming to visit, should they also be involved in house chores or the woman has to do it all, as it is held in some cultures? If yes, how can one get them involved?

Of course, they should do house chores. Just simply smile and say 'can you please help with... Thank you' and if they don't help out, they can as well leave the house after all, it's your house. If the husband is not around, the next in command in the home is the wife and this should be made clear by hubby to his people and wife to her people. Where there's no rule, things get messed up.

Q3
Please, I’ll like to confirm something here, is it only in my house and a few families that the man is always either watching the tv set, reading a newspaper, magazine, on the computer, chatting, on calls or doing some other funny things whenever the woman is busy with domestics? Please, is it the same all over; I mean, is it a common trait in men generally or is it only peculiar

to mine and others that I have seen?

It is in almost every home. But I usually call out to my hubby if I need help. Of course, it should be said nicely. Like when I need to cook and my baby needs to be fed, I say 'sweetheart, please can you help me feed her so that I can prepare meal?' If he can't, meal will be late na. But you have to ask for help if you need some assistance in doing house chores

Q4
Why I don’t like to touch those things is that women can be very funny, do it now and it becomes your core responsibility, they will expect you too keep doing it and the day you don’t do it, it’s wahala, big one. I think the best way to prevent such thing from happening is to keep off, let her know it’s her work and keep off. I don’t know what you have to say on that but I believe that’s the way many of us reason as men and that is why we usually stay away from the chores.

That's a very flimsy excuse to give if you ask me. It's not true at all. That you feel that way does not make it true. It's only when you do all and EVERYTHING for them and don't even allow them do what they're supposed to do that this theory of yours can be true but not when you're just giving helping hand. I can confidently say that most women would be happy that their husbands help out in house chores and a happy wife is a happy and peaceful home. My husband helps in bathing our baby, ironing our dresses and it doesn't make me disrespect him one bit. Instead I respect him for being responsible. How I feel happy he helps out. it just makes me want to spoil him with love ‪#‎Lol‬. So guy, no dey give that kind excuse again o! If you're not lazy, help out abi na taboo?

Q5
For me, my husband doesn’t allow me to involve our children in house tasks. Way out, please.

Some people do that because they feel they shouldn't rub their poverty on their kids. They don't want their children to suffer the pains of poverty they themselves passed through while growing up. But they don't realize that they are doing more harm than good to the children. I think you'll have to sit your husband down (when he's in good mood especially after a surprise delicious meal) and tell the implications of not allowing the kids to work That they'll if they don't do house chores, when they go out (especially to school) how would they cope when they don't have the basic skills to help them out That the best time to learn discipline and responsible in life is when they're still young and the best way is through house chores Just make him see reasons in a loving way and don't forget to back it up with prayers.

Q6
I know some mothers who don’t involve their girls or boys in house chores, they like to do it alone. Is that really correct? Does it help the children? What about her?

It's not right at all. Many do so because they feel they'll make their children suffer for not being wealthy. It's greatly going to affect the child because when they grow up, they'll find it difficult to do basic home activities. These are people who will get married tomorrow. How would they take care of their house? How do they ever learn it if they're not taught? They become liabilities even to themselves and their parents.

Q7
I know a woman who gives even her pants to maids to wash. On the other hand, another woman gives out her husband’s pants to maids or her/his younger ones to wash. What’s your take on this?

I'm sorry but I see those kind of people as lazy and wicked. It's not right at all. The woman should have decency and shouldn't be careless about things she uses for her 'privates'. Some don't see it as anything but it's because they've never really sat down to ask themselves if they could also wash a stranger's panties. What you can't do for others, don't do to others

Q8
Is it right to allow your mother-in-law or father-in-law join in house responsibilities when they come visiting?

I would say no but if they're persistent on helping, why not? I would allow them
The truth of the matter is, you can't actually and completely do all that there is to do most especially when you have little children (even a child). It would seem as if you've done nothing even after just cleaning up. They scatter after you. When it comes to cleaning the house, I like to rest during the day, take my time do most important things first leaving the cleaning of the house till after everyone is asleep. But if you have grown children that can help out, try draw up a timetable of duties to share amongst them. But it's always important to draw up a to-do list first thing each day, putting the most important tasks first and strictly following it.

Q9
Mine is, I’ve been trying but I just can’t get it altogether. Everywhere is just scattered. May be I don’t just know how to do it. I don’t even know where to start from. Advice, please.

The truth of the matter is, you can't actually and completely do all that there is to do most especially when you have little children (even a child). It would seem as if you've done nothing even after just cleaning up. They scatter after you. When it comes to cleaning the house, I like to rest during the day, take my time do most important things first leaving the cleaning of the house till after everyone is asleep. But if you have grown children that can help out, try draw up a timetable of duties to share amongst them. But it's always important to draw up a to-do list first thing each day, putting the most important tasks first and strictly following it Of course, not forgetting to ask God to order your steps too as your day begins

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